In Principle 8, we suggested you

Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.

For this ninth and final Principle, we humbly suggest you:

Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Making this principle your own creates a truly ‘win-win situation’ because you are both happy to be working together toward what you’ve successfully conveyed as being a common goal.

Says Nancy Collins “Try asking for what you want in a way that the other person is honored to be doing what you suggest.”

Consider the following key points in crafting a communication of this sort:

• Be sincere, and only promise
what you can deliver
• Be precise – ensure the other
person is clear as to what is being
requested of him/her
• Place yourself in the other person’s
shoes: what do THEY want? Then,
confirm you are correct by asking
• How will the other person benefit
by doing what you ask?
• Illustrate how doing what you
request is in alignment with the
other person’s wants

The more you practice this technique, the better it will work. The important thing is to first consider what is important to the other person. Rarely in life are people asked to do something that is clearly not in their best interest (even soldiers asked to risk their lives often believe they are doing so for their own benefit, even if that benefit is preserving a way of life for their loved ones)

If you periodically review these Nine Principles, you will see them become a part of your daily thoughts and vocabulary, and your success with effective communication will soar!

by Danny Bobrow

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